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Monday, June 18, 2012

Why Thank You Father .... for that great big ego of mine...

For years I have wondered where my sense of self comes from. I used to be so shy and I kept to myself and all of the sudden one day I woke up and decided I was a bad ass and people should consider themselves blessed to have me in their lives. I always knew this was a bit of a stretch but no one seemed to mind my new found confidence, in fact most people found it hilarious and just went along with the endless streams of BS that came out of my mouth to humor me. Unfortunately in the past year or so my ego has somehow gotten bigger which led me to question where I got all this from.

For those of you who know Big Poppa, you probably know the basics. He always wears a hat, glasses and 99% of the time a beard. He is consistently stoned. And he is convinced "the man" is out to get him, (no he is not black). . I love my father, he is crazy and not all that great at life but he has always been a great example of a parent for the "what not to do's". I think my next blog shall be about my fathers great life lessons. In addition to just looking like a crazy old man his hygiene is not the greatest and  having conversations with him can be compared to watching the presidential debate. You won't get to far. That being said, he really is awesome. I quite enjoy having him in my life, any phone conversation with him is bound to be a humorous one. Anyways ...  after a phone conversation with him a few weeks ago it suddenly dawned on me, my ego is genetic. According to my father, he is God's gift to women, those who saw my post a few weeks ago know that I can't make this stuff up. I don't know why it took me so long to figure this out but I think my dad, myself and my brother Josh were actually born with the large ego gene. Here is a man who has worn the same hat for years and does not shower as often as he should and he still thinks all the women are after him.
Example 1: Years ago, he informed me that he had to be careful talking to the neighbor next door because she wanted to marry him. But he wasn't having it because and I quote "her thighs clapped when she walked" .... really dad??? This poor lady all she wanted was for him to come fix an electrical problem she had!
Example 2: A while ago he also informed me that the other neighbor wants him but .... "she's a little trashy if yah know what I mean." Right, because your house being a double wide trailer with holes in the walls and floors is not trashy.
Example 3: In case you missed this story.... he thinks that my neighbor who is in her 50's and pretty hot (thanks to some surgeries) want's him. In addition the reason why he doesn't go to church is because all of the single ladies who want him because he can provide food on the table and a roof over their head.

YUP they all want you dad.
But, who am I to judge? I would never disagree with him, maybe they do all want him... who's to say that they don't?
So, that's where I get my ego from. I know a lot of you have been curious about it over the years, and now you know. I've been told I should practice humility but hey, I'm only going to live once ... so I think I'll follow in my old man's footsteps. Everybody wants me ..... I'm God's gift to EVERYONE. ;-)